kingryan-risenfromtheashes:

I had a dream that I was driving and I accidentally ran Pete Wentz over with a car and he went flying and patrick yelled “THERE HE WENTZ” and I woke up laughing

daddykinkpatrick:

patrick behind the scenes of centuries

falloutboy:

photos from the centuries video shoot. more up here.

if you missed the video, watch it.

Download the song on iTunes, or listen on Spotify 

austenchanted:

Cap ‘n QuotePride and Prejudice (2005)

request by :

Elizabeth Bennet: He’s been a fool about so many things, about Jane, and others… but then, so have I. You see, he and I are so similar. We’ve been nonsensical! Papa, I…

Mr. Bennet: You really do love him, don’t you?

Elizabeth Bennet: Very much.

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

harm-the-unknown:

Director: Okay, so Gerard, you’re going to throw this shirt in the wash. Frank, you’re going to fold these pants. Ray, you’re on the dryer. 

Mikey: What do I get to do?

Director: Uhhh…..Here. You can pour the detergent into the machine.

Mikey: Bitchin’

I FOUND IT

kyian:

MOM PHINEAS AND FERB SHUTDOWN THE GOVERNMENT

image

othrnss:

Wolfgang Tillmans' Freischwimmer picture hanging beside Pablo Picasso's Weeping Woman (1937).

kuromania:

thepinkestlady:

ellenlovesportia:

Ellen talking a about foods from the 50s

HAHAHAHAHAHHA

I don’t like it.
Ellen.

brelemus:

valentinablvd:

courageisgraceunderpressure:

"Just kiss like normal people kiss"
I love them so so much

Just thought I’d bring this back because there will never be a moment when this wasn’t the most perfect thing to happen to television

Couple idols, :’) they’re so silly and perfect

This is so perfect

iamcamdon:

speckster:

reptilereasons:

this period of the simpsons where homer is pretty clueless but still tries hard to be a good father because he does love his kids is my favourite, so many feelings

image

GROSS SOBBING

Something I really really liked about a few of the Homer/Lisa episodes in the earlier seasons of the show was how it paints a really sweet yet unconventional father/daughter relationship, basically in the way that Homer is a parental force to Lisa, so too is Lisa a parental force to Homer. 

It’s really highlighted in one particular scene in the “future” episode “Lisa’s Wedding”, where Homer has a nice conversation with her just before her wedding.

Homer: Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson.  You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to. Since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, you've been smarter than me.
 Lisa: Oh, Dad --
Homer: No, no, let me finish.  I just want you to know I've always been proud of you.  You're my greatest accomplishment and you did it all yourself.  You helped me understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person, but you're also my daughter, and I don't think anybody could have had a better daughter than you--
 Lisa: Dad, you're babbling.
Homer: See?  You're still helping me.


sr